Advice Mallard: Always Masturbate Before a Date

This is a variant of the popular Actual Advice Mallard internet meme. It features a stock photograph of a male mallard duck floating calmly on rippling water, with bold white text with black outlines placed at the top and bottom of the image. The top text reads 'ALWAYS MASTURBATE' and the bottom text reads 'BEFORE A DATE'. The crude humorous advice refers to the idea that masturbating prior to a romantic date reduces sexual desperation and impulse, which the joke claims prevents you from overrating your date's attractiveness (as noted in the original 9GAG title stating 'Believe me, it turns a 10 into a 4!', referencing common 1-10 attractiveness rating scales) and making poor decisions driven by sexual arousal.

Make

Text content

ALWAYS MASTURBATE
BEFORE A DATE

Overview

This is a variant of the popular Actual Advice Mallard internet meme. It features a stock photograph of a male mallard duck floating calmly on rippling water, with bold white text with black outlines placed at the top and bottom of the image. The top text reads 'ALWAYS MASTURBATE' and the bottom text reads 'BEFORE A DATE'. The crude humorous advice refers to the idea that masturbating prior to a romantic date reduces sexual desperation and impulse, which the joke claims prevents you from overrating your date's attractiveness (as noted in the original 9GAG title stating 'Believe me, it turns a 10 into a 4!', referencing common 1-10 attractiveness rating scales) and making poor decisions driven by sexual arousal.

Origin notes

This meme uses the widely recognizable Actual Advice Mallard macro template that was most popular across social media platforms like Reddit, 4chan, and 9GAG throughout the 2010s. This specific version was shared on 9GAG via RSS, with the accompanying original title explaining the joke's punchline that the action lowers how attractive you perceive your date to be, reducing the risk of you acting overly eager or settling for an incompatible partner because of horniness. The meme is a user-created remix of the standard base mallard stock image with custom text added.

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